Brain Surgery... One Year Later

It is amazing to think that one year ago today at about the time I am writing this now, I was coming out of surgery on my brain. When I realized this today, I was driving to the grocery store at about the same time that I would have been entering surgery last year. For some reason, I broke down sobbing in the car. I don't know, I just think I was overwhelmed. I'm so thankful... so blessed.
God is so good.

Here are just a few of the reasons...
- I never had seizures in spite of the size of my tumor (check out the pictures... it is scary!) I'm so glad that this never happened with all the time I spend alone with my kids, at home, driving them around, taking walks. The worst problem I had were these unusual headaches.
- God prepared me ahead of time in several subtle ways- through things I was reading in His word, learning in my bible study and a few personal experiences that really prepared me to hear the news that something like this had entered my life. He girded me up, and made me ready to handle what might have drowned me otherwise.
- He provided friends and family with wisdom and encouragement at just the times I needed it. Those who spoke out of their own experiences with learning to trust God and those who turned my attention directly to scripture were especially helpful - but the volume of people who cared about us was more than I ever expected. God abundantly supplied us in that area.
- I made it through surgery without an incident, and God didn't allow my children to be motherless and my husband to be without his wife. I was ready to be with the Lord, but I wasn't ready to leave my children and my husband. There was so much I wanted to say and no time to say it. I'm so thankful that I have more time with them.
- I got to keep my hair! (Well, most of it... a couple patches went missing and a lot has turned grey, but it grew back and I can color it when I want to!)
- Recovery was difficult, but God gave me sweet times of fellowship with him. Dealing with anxiety, pain, and confusion forced me to turn to Him for my peace, security, and stability. He made me understand my dependance on Him and caused me to learn how he is "an ever-present help in times of trouble".
- He has healed me completely from the tumor and it's effects. My most recent MRI shows no signs of any tumor. My brain has returned to "normal". (As normal as it ever was.) I have had no problems with my brain function and no continued headaches.

As much as I am so thankful that God has been good, I believe that He would still have been good if I had not been healed. God is good and does good - even if the outcome had not been like this. "For we know that God works all things for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) He does all things for His glory, and he has, through my tumor, done "abundantly more than we can ever ask or imagine." "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth or anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus."

How I long for you to know that today...

Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, my soul.
(Psalm 103)